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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Seen just now on Slack:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Trending via Snapchat:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Breaking via Twitch:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Going bananas on Messenger:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Just landed via Facebook:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Making waves on Facebook:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Spotted on Twitch:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Funny open space quotes

New funny open space quotes 👇

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

4 days ago

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All funny open space quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Instagram this month:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

75 shares on Threads this month:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

25 shares on X this month:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

47 shares on X this month:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Breaking via Messenger:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Going viral on Messenger:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Trending via Facebook:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Just landed via Messenger:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny open space quotes

New funny open space quotes 👇

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

All funny open space quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨