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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Seen just now on Slack:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Just shared via Twitch:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Seen just now on Slack:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Just shared via Messenger:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Reported on TikTok:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Just landed via Telegram:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Going viral on TikTok:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Reported on Instagram:

The government even made aliens boring.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Just landed via YouTube:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

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