Funny overtake quotes

97 shares on Threads this month:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I am single, please disturb me!

99 shares on Telegram this month:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

86 shares on Threads this month:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.