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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Making waves on Telegram:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Trending via X:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Going viral on Telegram:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Just shared via Pinterest:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Just shared via YouTube:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Going viral on TikTok:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Trending via WeChat:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Reported on Twitch:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Just shared via Messenger:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Making waves on X:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Trending via Facebook:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Just landed via Threads:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

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