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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Making waves on Messenger:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Just landed via Slack:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Live now on Twitch:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Live now on Discord:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Making waves on Slack:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Just shared via Reddit:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Funny parking garage quotes

Funny parking garage quotes 🚗😂 bring a smile to the everyday challenge of finding that elusive spot! Whether you’ve circled the lot like a pro or mastered the art of parallel parking, these witty lines add a twist of humor to the concrete jungle. Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even appreciate those quirky moments behind the wheel! 🅿️🤣 #ParkingAdventures #GarageGiggles

New funny parking garage quotes 👇

All funny parking garage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Discord this month:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

29 shares on Instagram this month:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

29 shares on Discord this month:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am half agony, half hope.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,296

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Spotted on Reddit:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Just shared via YouTube:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Going viral on YouTube:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Going viral on Reddit:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Just landed via Messenger:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

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