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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Breaking via Threads:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Breaking via Telegram:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Live now on WeChat:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Making waves on YouTube:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Seen just now on Messenger:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Trending via Reddit:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Trending via Slack:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Home » Funny Performative Male Quotes

Funny performative male quotes

New funny performative male quotes 👇

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

0

4 months ago

bit, gender, gender role, guy, humor, just, little, male, metrosexual, performative, performative male, rebrand, role, say, sexuality, slang, stereotype, straight, straight guy

All funny performative male quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Just landed via Discord:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Just landed via Telegram:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Just landed via Threads:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Going viral on WeChat:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Just shared via Facebook:

Imagine being social on social media.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny performative male quotes

New funny performative male quotes 👇

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

All funny performative male quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨