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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Seen just now on X:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Seen just now on Threads:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Making waves on TikTok:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Funny personality quiz quotes

New funny personality quiz quotes 👇

All funny personality quiz quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Threads this month:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

25 shares on X this month:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

55 shares on X this month:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Just landed via Instagram:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Just shared via Facebook:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Making waves on X:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Going viral on Slack:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Just shared via YouTube:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Going viral on Instagram:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Going viral on Slack:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

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