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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Just shared via Discord:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Trending via Instagram:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Spotted on X:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Going viral on TikTok:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Making waves on Slack:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Funny persuade quotes

New funny persuade quotes 👇

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

3 weeks ago

amount, ever, evidence, humor, idiot, persuade, persuasion, sarcasm, stubbornness
The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

1 month ago

art, creativity, humor, people, perception, persuade, today’s, today’s art

All funny persuade quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Slack this month:

“There’s a reason religion tells you your reward is after death; it keeps you quiet while you’re being exploited alive.”

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

18 shares on Messenger this month:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Spotted on Telegram:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Shared recently on X:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Making waves on X:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny persuade quotes

New funny persuade quotes 👇

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

All funny persuade quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨