279 funny phone quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

May 26, 2026

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

May 26, 2026

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

May 26, 2026

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

May 26, 2026

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

May 26, 2026

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

May 26, 2026

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

May 26, 2026

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

May 26, 2026

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

May 26, 2026

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

May 26, 2026

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

May 26, 2026

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

May 26, 2026

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

May 26, 2026

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

May 26, 2026

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

May 26, 2026

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

May 26, 2026

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

May 25, 2026

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

May 25, 2026

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

May 25, 2026

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

May 25, 2026

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

May 25, 2026

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

May 25, 2026

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

May 25, 2026

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

May 25, 2026

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

May 25, 2026

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

May 25, 2026

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

May 25, 2026

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

May 25, 2026

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

May 25, 2026

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

May 25, 2026

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

May 25, 2026

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

May 25, 2026

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

May 25, 2026

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

May 25, 2026

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

May 25, 2026

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

May 24, 2026

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

May 24, 2026

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

May 24, 2026

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

May 24, 2026

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

May 24, 2026