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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Making waves on X:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Breaking via Reddit:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Spotted on TikTok:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Just shared via Threads:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Trending via X:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Just shared via Telegram:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Having a job ruined my life.

Spotted on Threads:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

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