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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Going viral on Slack:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Trending via Discord:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Live now on Threads:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Breaking via Facebook:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Trending via LinkedIn:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

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Funny playtime quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Just landed via Discord:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Making waves on Facebook:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Seen just now on X:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Live now on Slack:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Reported on YouTube:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Just shared via Instagram:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

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