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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Trending via Twitch:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Breaking via X:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Trending via Pinterest:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Just shared via Instagram:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Just landed via Messenger:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Freshly posted on X:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Just landed via Pinterest:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Reported on Twitch:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Just landed via X:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Going viral on Facebook:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

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