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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Just landed via Threads:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Making waves on Telegram:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Just landed via Discord:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Making waves on X:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Seen just now on Discord:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Spotted on Twitch:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Spotted on Facebook:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Just landed via X:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Going viral on Messenger:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Seen just now on X:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

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