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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Just shared via Twitch:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Spotted on YouTube:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Seen just now on Twitch:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Breaking via X:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Seen just now on Slack:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Just landed via WeChat:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Just shared via TikTok:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Spotted on TikTok:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Making waves on Telegram:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Just shared via Discord:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Just shared via Discord:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Shared recently on Facebook:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

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