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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Making waves on Discord:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Going viral on Twitch:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Making waves on Twitch:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Live now on WhatsApp:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Freshly posted on X:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Reported on Telegram:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Just shared via Threads:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Spotted on Instagram:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Going viral on Discord:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Live now on TikTok:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Making waves on Slack:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

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