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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,932

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Making waves on YouTube:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Going viral on Slack:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Going bananas on Facebook:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,734

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Breaking via Messenger:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Just landed via Messenger:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Spotted on Snapchat:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Spotted on TikTok:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Live now on Slack:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

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