Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Seen just now on X:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Going viral on YouTube:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Just shared via Twitch:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Just shared via Discord:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Going bananas on Slack:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Funny salty quotes

Funny salty quotes bring the perfect blend of sass and spice to your day 🌶️😄 Whether you’re feeling cheeky or just love a good witty comeback, these zesty one-liners will have you laughing out loud and serving attitude with a smile 😏🔥 Get ready to sprinkle some humor and saltiness into your conversations—because sometimes a little salt makes everything better! 🧂🤣

New funny salty quotes 👇

All funny salty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

38 shares on X this month:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

39 shares on Slack this month:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

64 shares on Discord this month:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Trending via Pinterest:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Just shared via YouTube:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Going viral on Snapchat:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Spotted on X:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

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