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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Going viral on Facebook:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Just shared via Threads:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Just landed via Threads:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Making waves on Slack:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Just shared via Telegram:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Broadcasted on X:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Going viral on Instagram:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Just landed via Messenger:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Just shared via Slack:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Spotted on Messenger:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Just shared via Snapchat:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

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