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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Making waves on Reddit:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Spotted on X:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Just landed via WeChat:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I am single, please disturb me!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Making waves on Twitch:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Spotted on Slack:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Making waves on YouTube:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Seen just now on Instagram:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Just shared via Discord:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

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