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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1863 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,025

Funny Quotes Topics

14,819

Funny Quotes Images

12,025

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Just shared via X:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Shared recently on Threads:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Just shared via Telegram:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Just landed via YouTube:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Going viral on Discord:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Just landed via Instagram:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1863 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,025

Funny Quotes Topics

14,819

Funny Quotes Images

12,025

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Trending via Pinterest:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Making waves on Threads:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Just landed via Discord:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Making waves on Messenger:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Going viral on WeChat:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

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