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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Shared recently on Twitch:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Shared recently on X:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Seen just now on Telegram:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Just shared via TikTok:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Trending via Twitch:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Funny screen preference quotes

New funny screen preference quotes 👇

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

1 week ago

computer, computer usage, dark, dark mode, digital, digital lifestyle, humor, lifestyle, mode, much, physically, preference, screen, screen preference, screens, tech, tech humor, ui, UI preference, usage, used, white, white screen

All funny screen preference quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Threads this month:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

21 shares on Slack this month:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

99 shares on X this month:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Making art is making love to the world.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny screen preference quotes

New funny screen preference quotes 👇

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

All funny screen preference quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨