Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Just shared via WeChat:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Trending via Twitch:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Just shared via Messenger:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Spotted on Instagram:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Trending via Facebook:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Funny second date quotes

New funny second date quotes 👇

All funny second date quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

56 shares on TikTok this month:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

19 shares on TikTok this month:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

13 shares on Messenger this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Making waves on TikTok:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Seen just now on Slack:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Going viral on Facebook:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Making waves on TikTok:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Just shared via WeChat:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴