Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Going viral on Discord:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Trending via Telegram:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

33 Funny self-confidence quotes

More funny self-confidence quotes 👇

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

1 month ago

dreamy, fantasy, girl, me, self-confidence, should, sitting, sky, star, whimsical
One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

1 month ago

being, growth, insecure, insecurity, personal, personal growth, self-confidence, time, waste, wasting, wasting time, ways, worst, youth
Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

1 month ago

anytime, body, body image, chin, comment, comments, humor, i, ignore, image, joke, keep, self-confidence, someone, try, weight

For even more funny self-confidence quotes, hit next 👇

All funny self-confidence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WeChat this month:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

23 shares on Slack this month:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

29 shares on Discord this month:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

44 shares on Threads this month:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Just shared via Reddit:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Going bananas on Threads:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Making waves on Instagram:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Trending via Snapchat:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

33 Funny self-confidence quotes

More funny self-confidence quotes 👇

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

All funny self-confidence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨