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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Making waves on WeChat:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Just landed via Reddit:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Live now on Reddit:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Seen just now on Instagram:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Just shared via WeChat:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Breaking via Messenger:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Funny semi-toxic relationship quotes

New funny semi-toxic relationship quotes 👇

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

2 weeks ago

dating, humor, i, life, life ruining, months, one-night, one-night stand, relationship, ruining, ruins, sarcasm, semi-toxic, semi-toxic relationship, stand, time, time-wasting, undefined, undefined relationship, wasting

All funny semi-toxic relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Facebook this month:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

74 shares on Threads this month:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Seen just now on Discord:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Making waves on Facebook:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Going viral on X:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Shared recently on Discord:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny semi-toxic relationship quotes

New funny semi-toxic relationship quotes 👇

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

All funny semi-toxic relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨