Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Live now on Reddit:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Seen just now on Reddit:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Spotted on Discord:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Spotted on YouTube:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Just landed via WeChat:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Spotted on Messenger:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Funny sharpening quotes

Funny sharpening quotes bring a slice of humor to the art of staying sharp 🔪😄 Whether you’re honing your skills or just love a clever pun, these witty sayings will keep you grinning while you grind! From clever wordplay to unexpected twists, get ready to chuckle and sharpen your wit all at once ✨🪒 Ready to laugh and learn? Let’s dive into some hilarious sharpening vibes! 😂🎉

New funny sharpening quotes 👇

All funny sharpening quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

65 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

86 shares on X this month:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

54 shares on Discord this month:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,358

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Dear music, thanks!

Just landed via Threads:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Seen just now on Discord:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Just shared via Threads:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Going viral on Pinterest:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Spotted on WeChat:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

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