Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Trending via LinkedIn:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Live now on Twitch:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Spotted on Instagram:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Going viral on Messenger:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Just landed via Discord:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Funny shed quotes

Funny shed quotes bring a splash of humor to your favorite backyard hideaway 🛠️😂 Whether you’re a DIY enthusiast or just love chilling in your cozy retreat, these witty lines add charm and laughter to every visit 🌿😄 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as you celebrate the quirks of shed life! 🧰🎉

New funny shed quotes 👇

All funny shed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

62 shares on Threads this month:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

28 shares on X this month:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Just shared via Discord:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Live now on Messenger:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Shared recently on Threads:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Trending via X:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Shared recently on Slack:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Trending via Facebook:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

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