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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Trending via Snapchat:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Breaking via YouTube:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Just landed via Messenger:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m sick of living through history!

Seen just now on Threads:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Trending via Telegram:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Funny signup quotes

New funny signup quotes 👇

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

3 months ago

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All funny signup quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

34 shares on X this month:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

73 shares on Discord this month:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Going viral on Instagram:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Going viral on TikTok:

January is the Monday of the year.

Just shared via Telegram:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Making waves on X:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Just shared via TikTok:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

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Funny signup quotes

New funny signup quotes 👇

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

All funny signup quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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