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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Your 20s should be spent nervously sitting on the edge of the bed with rigid posture.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

429 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,698

Funny Quotes Topics

17,716

Funny Quotes Images

15,698

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Just landed via TikTok:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Just shared via Reddit:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Breaking via Threads:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Making waves on Threads:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Freshly posted on X:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Funny Slash quotes

New funny Slash quotes 👇

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

2 months ago

1986, bad, commitment, day, fashion, feel, Goofy, goofy hat, hat, humor, i, joke, lifelong, lifelong wear, sarcasm, Slash, style, wear

All funny Slash quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

46 shares on Slack this month:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

78 shares on X this month:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Slash quotes

New funny Slash quotes 👇

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

All funny Slash quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨