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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Just shared via X:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Just shared via Slack:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Making waves on Facebook:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Spotted on Discord:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Funny soup du jour quotes

New funny soup du jour quotes 👇

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

4 weeks ago

bullshit, changing, day, du, food, french, humor, joke, jour, keep, language, restaurant, soup, soup du jour, translation

All funny soup du jour quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

45 shares on X this month:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Shared recently on Slack:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Shared recently on X:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Making waves on Pinterest:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Just landed via Slack:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny soup du jour quotes

New funny soup du jour quotes 👇

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

All funny soup du jour quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨