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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Spotted on Telegram:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Seen just now on Threads:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Going viral on Telegram:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Spotted on X:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Going viral on Slack:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Going viral on Reddit:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Making waves on YouTube:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Spotted on Messenger:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Going viral on X:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

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