Commentary:
"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I'd probably be contemplating retirement plans by now. 💸 But hey, that just means you're worth every penny of my mental wealth! 💭😄"
209 Funny start quotes
You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.
Commentary:
"Oh, when you and yourself can't seem to agree on anything, you know it's stress o'clock! 🤯🙄 Hang in there, self, we'll get through this together! 💪😂"
I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.
Commentary:
"Who needs tissues when you have a dog? 🐶❤️ Your furry friend is just helping you with your hydration levels! #DogHugsAreTheBest"
Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.
Commentary:
🤣 "When the whining orchestra begins its performance, the only logical response is to dial up Mom for an apology… and maybe a crash course on dealing with miniature divas and divos! 📞👶 #ParentingPerks"
Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.
Commentary:
"Life lesson #101: Paying rent turns humor into horror 😂💸 Say goodbye to jokes and hello to bill collectors!"
I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.
Commentary:
Looks like I've been unintentionally studying all my Calvin Klein textbooks this whole time. 📚👖😉
I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”
Commentary:
Getting older is when you reach expert level in back-in-my-day storytelling! 🤣🕰️👴🏻
Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.
Commentary:
Looks like someone just unlocked the cheat code for instant financial fireworks! 💸🤯🔥
Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.
Commentary:
Hydration station, here we come! 💧🚰 Let's turn 'boring' into 'pour-ing’! 😂
The feminine urge to start a coven.
Commentary:
Joining a witch meetup to discuss the latest broomstick upgrades and potion recipes! 🧙♀️✨🔮