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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Spotted on YouTube:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Just landed via Reddit:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Spotted on Facebook:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Making waves on Instagram:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Freshly posted on Threads:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Trending via YouTube:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Funny stoplight quotes

New funny stoplight quotes 👇

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

0

4 weeks ago

before, driving, green, green light, hours, humor, i, light, marriage, me, patience, relationship, sit, stoplight, tell, waiting

Someone from 🇮🇹 has recently copied this quote.

39 shares on Facebook this month.

All funny stoplight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

95 shares on Threads this month:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve been blocked by better.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

67 shares on X this month:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

25 shares on WeChat this month:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Just shared via Snapchat:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Shared recently on Slack:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Just landed via Threads:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Spotted on Twitch:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny stoplight quotes

New funny stoplight quotes 👇

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

All funny stoplight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨