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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Trending via Slack:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Shared recently on TikTok:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Just shared via Threads:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Trending via Slack:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Just shared via Facebook:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Spotted on Messenger:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Funny straight guy quotes

New funny straight guy quotes 👇

All funny straight guy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on X this month:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

52 shares on Discord this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

23 shares on Slack this month:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I woke up alive again.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Trending via Reddit:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Making waves on X:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Live now on Pinterest:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Live now on Discord:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Breaking via Reddit:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Making waves on X:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Going viral on Telegram:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

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