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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Just landed via Discord:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Live now on Slack:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Seen just now on Discord:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Just landed via WeChat:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Spotted on TikTok:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Funny Sunday night quotes

New funny Sunday night quotes 👇

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

2 days ago

anxiety, before, business, entrepreneur, every, humor, i, night, nights, own, run, small, small business, stress, suffer, Sunday, Sunday night, work

All funny Sunday night quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Threads this month:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

53 shares on Threads this month:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

53 shares on Threads this month:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Seen just now on Discord:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Spreading quickly via X:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Just shared via Twitch:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Trending via Instagram:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Making waves on Twitch:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Going viral on Instagram:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Freshly posted on Slack:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny Sunday night quotes

New funny Sunday night quotes 👇

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

All funny Sunday night quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨