Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Live now on Slack:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Spotted on Twitch:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Going bananas on Discord:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Trending via Threads:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Making waves on TikTok:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Funny talking to myself quotes

Funny talking to myself quotes are the perfect way to embrace your inner chatterbox 🤪🗣️—because sometimes the best conversations happen solo! Whether you’re debating life’s biggest questions or just cracking yourself up, these witty lines add a splash of humor to your self-talk 🎉😂. Ready to laugh along with your favorite inner voice? Let’s dive into some hilarious moments only you and you can share! 🎭✨

New funny talking to myself quotes 👇

All funny talking to myself quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

17 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

35 shares on X this month:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

94 shares on X this month:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Live now on WeChat:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Seen just now on Facebook:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Shared recently on Slack:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

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