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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Seen just now on Reddit:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Just shared via Instagram:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Going viral on Facebook:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Just shared via Discord:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Live now on Discord:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Just landed via Twitch:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

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Funny technician quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Reported on Reddit:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Trending via Facebook:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Just shared via Reddit:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Spotted on Slack:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

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