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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Taking a walk: The most effective debugging tool.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Making waves on Messenger:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Spotted on Telegram:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Just shared via Facebook:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Live now on TikTok:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Telegram this month:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

48 shares on Reddit this month:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Spotted on X:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Trending via Reddit:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Freshly posted on X:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

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