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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Just landed via Messenger:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Spotted on Telegram:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Trending via Facebook:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Shared recently on Messenger:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Just shared via Twitch:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Funny trail mix quotes

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New funny trail mix quotes 👇

All funny trail mix quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Slack this month:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

83 shares on Reddit this month:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Seen just now on X:

Imagine being social on social media.

Going viral on Twitch:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Trending via X:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Going viral on WeChat:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Going viral on Telegram:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Breaking via Facebook:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Breaking via Facebook:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

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