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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Live now on Slack:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Going bananas on WeChat:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Just shared via Reddit:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Making waves on TikTok:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Trending via Instagram:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Just shared via TikTok:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

22 Funny training quotes

More funny training quotes 👇

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

0

2 months ago

calm, calm down, care, dental, dental care, electric, electric toothbrush, freak, humor, just, regular, remember, toothbrush, training

Someone from 🇹🇴 has recently shared this quote.

101 shares on Pinterest this month.
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

0

6 months ago

bullshit, confusion, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, idea, joke, just, muscle, muscles, targeted, training, workout

Someone from 🇰🇮 has recently bookmarked this quote.

42 shares on Twitch this month.

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All funny training quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Slack this month:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

51 shares on X this month:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

47 shares on Discord this month:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Making waves on Twitch:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Spotted on Pinterest:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

22 Funny training quotes

More funny training quotes 👇

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

All funny training quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨