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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Just landed via Telegram:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Spotted on Threads:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Spotted on Discord:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Shared recently on Threads:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Funny TV program quotes

New funny TV program quotes 👇

All funny TV program quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

87 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

55 shares on Slack this month:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

69 but we both just farting.

Trending via Snapchat:

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

Going viral on Telegram:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Just shared via Telegram:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

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