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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Live now on Reddit:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Making waves on YouTube:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Going viral on Telegram:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Breaking via Threads:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Trending via Telegram:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Going viral on Twitch:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Funny UHD quotes

New funny UHD quotes 👇

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

1 month ago

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All funny UHD quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Spotted on X:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Seen just now on X:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Live now on Reddit:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Spotted on TikTok:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

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Funny UHD quotes

New funny UHD quotes 👇

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

All funny UHD quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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