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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Trending via Reddit:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Going bananas on Slack:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Trending via X:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite color is money.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Just shared via Messenger:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Shared recently on Discord:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Shared recently on Slack:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Seen just now on X:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Making waves on Facebook:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Breaking via Messenger:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Spotted on Messenger:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Just shared via X:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

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