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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Just shared via Messenger:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Going viral on Telegram:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Just landed via YouTube:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Just shared via Messenger:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Going viral on Telegram:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Going bananas on Discord:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Funny username quotes

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

83 shares on X this month:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,675

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Live now on Reddit:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Live now on Instagram:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Live now on Facebook:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Going viral on Telegram:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Making waves on Reddit:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

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