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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Shared recently on X:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Going viral on Threads:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Trending via Snapchat:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Spotted on Telegram:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Spotted on YouTube:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Funny Walter White quotes

New funny Walter White quotes 👇

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

3 weeks ago

age, career, career change, change, drug, drug kingpin, high, high school teacher, humor, i, inspiration, kingpin, old, possibility, remember, school, teacher, think, too, walter, Walter White, white

All funny Walter White quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on TikTok this month:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

54 shares on Threads this month:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Going viral on Telegram:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Trending via Threads:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Spotted on Reddit:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Just shared via Reddit:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Seen just now on Slack:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny Walter White quotes

New funny Walter White quotes 👇

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

All funny Walter White quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨