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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,247

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Live now on Slack:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Breaking via Discord:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I am half agony, half hope.

Going viral on Threads:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Making waves on Telegram:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Just landed via Threads:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Just landed via Threads:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

0
Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Puppy mode activated! What mysterious wonders have you sniffed out this time? 🐶🔍🍖

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on X this month:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

78 shares on WeChat this month:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

11 shares on Slack this month:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,504

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Just landed via WeChat:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Trending via Twitch:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Seen just now on X:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

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