Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,506

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Just landed via Messenger:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Going bananas on Discord:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Seen just now on Discord:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Just shared via Discord:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Breaking via Instagram:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Dr. Kibble consults about my digital pet’s pixelated sneeze… 🐥🩺🤔

digital, digital pet, getting, health, humor, nostalgia, opinion, pet, second, second opinion, Tamagotchi, virtual, virtual pet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

0

5 days ago

cat, cats, certain, change, dog, dogs, flower, flowers, humor, media, notice, picture, pictures, profile, profile picture, social, social media, stereotype, weight, woman, women
Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

0

2 months ago

expectations, head, humor, inside, looking, nothing, perception, photo, reality, rude, self-image, selfie, truth, yourself
According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, expectations, family, gifts, humor, kids, lists, money, parenting, pretty, think, well
Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

0

2 months ago

box, chocolate, comparison, dating, days, girl, girls, humor, nut, nuts, relationship
I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

0

2 weeks ago

again, communication, freaky, hate, humor, i, mood, mood shift, morning, night, pure, purity, reply, shift, shut, someone, something, still, sun, texting, vibe
I love having plans to cancel.

0

5 months ago

cancel, cancellation, having, humor, i, introvert, life, love, plan, plans, social, social life

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Just shared via WeChat:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Just landed via Telegram:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Just landed via Threads:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Just landed via WeChat:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Making waves on Facebook:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Making waves on YouTube:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

I love having plans to cancel.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨