Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Making waves on YouTube:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Breaking via Reddit:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Going viral on Telegram:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Breaking via Twitch:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Just landed via YouTube:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Going viral on YouTube:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging gracefully! 👵🏼👴🏼 Less socializing, more scrutinizing! 🤣 Who needs a big circle of friends anyway when you can have a big list of grievances instead? 🤷🏻‍♂️😂 #LivingMyBestGrumpyLife"

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

91 shares on Slack this month:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

24 shares on Instagram this month:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

11 shares on Threads this month:

They’re making me get out of bed.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Just landed via Snapchat:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Just shared via Messenger:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Just shared via X:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Trending via X:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Trending via Slack:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Going viral on Twitch:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

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