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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

37 seconds ago

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Just shared via Threads:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Making waves on X:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Making waves on Reddit:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Going viral on Instagram:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Freshly posted on X:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Shared recently on Messenger:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

6 months ago

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

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Commentary:
Ah, the modern dating landscape – a complex dance of complication and chaos! 🕺💔 It's like trying to find a unicorn in a field of mermaids and centaurs! 🦄🧜‍♂️ But hey, just remember, finding someone who's not a little damaged is like finding a needle in a haystack… in a tornado! 🌪️📍 Keep your sense of humor intact and your heart open, for love will find its way

baggage, damaged, dating, days, emotional, emotional baggage, everyone, ex, getting, getting to know, going, impossible, know, love, modern, modern love, relationship, single, someone, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

37 seconds ago

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Making waves on Telegram:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Shared recently on Discord:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Seen just now on Threads:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Just shared via TikTok:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Reported on Slack:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

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