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Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Just landed via X:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Just shared via Reddit:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Making waves on Threads:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Trending via YouTube:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

13 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about doubting the value of international law, with a playful, witty vibe.

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Commentary:
Why spend years in law school when you can defend your case with interpretive dance? 🌍💃📚🤷‍♂️

education, fake, glad, humor, i, international, international law, law, legal, legal study, meaningless, sarcasm, seeing, study, studying, time, waste, waste of time

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17 shares on TikTok this month:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Half princess, half menace.

29 shares on Discord this month:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Making waves on WeChat:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Freshly posted on Slack:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Just landed via WhatsApp:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Making waves on YouTube:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

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Activity Log ✨

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

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Activity Log ✨

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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