Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Just landed via Threads:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Just shared via Slack:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why spend years in law school when you can defend your case with interpretive dance? 🌍💃📚🤷‍♂️

education, fake, glad, humor, i, international, international law, law, legal, legal study, meaningless, sarcasm, seeing, study, studying, time, waste, waste of time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, chips, class, dancing, day, dip, grabby, humor, i, intro, myself, salsa, starving, weird
I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

0

2 months ago

childhood, fear, ghosts, humor, i, ID, kids, know, knowledge, little, never, parenting, something, supernatural, too
I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

0

2 months ago

avoid, avoidance, escalator, fear, humor, joke, phobia, steps, taking, terrified
My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

0

4 months ago

beach, behavior, food, fry, funny behavior, humor, husband, i, relationship, say, seagull, snack, stealing, stealing food, want
Not right now. I’m manifesting.

0

5 months ago

excuse, humor, manifesting, mindfulness, motivation, procrastination, right, self-care
I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

0

2 months ago

adult, am, cartoons, childhood, discussion, full, hole, humor, i, listen, me, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, plot, plot hole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Discord this month:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Going viral on Messenger:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Spotted on Threads:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Just landed via Threads:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Just landed via X:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Spotted on Messenger:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Just shared via Telegram:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Just landed via Discord:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨