God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.