Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Live now on Reddit:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Going viral on Instagram:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Live now on Twitch:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Live now on Twitch:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Just shared via Pinterest:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Just shared via YouTube:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

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Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.
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Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect costume—nobody will see you arriving fashionably late! 👻🎩🔍

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

78 shares on X this month:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

77 shares on Messenger this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That fight could’ve been an email.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Shared recently on Telegram:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Going viral on Discord:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Just shared via Pinterest:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Trending via Slack:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

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